O'H HOW WE HAVE LOST THE VALUES OF FAMILY LIFE

“ The most beautiful thing in this world is to see your parents smiling ,and the next best thing is to know that.....you r the reason behind that SMILE ” By Subry Govender I had just watched one of the most touching, emotional and mind-awakening Tamil movies on Sun TV. It was about a villager and his wife, their battles to bring up their five sons, the problems they encounter after their sons leave home, and the lack of respect and appreciation shown by three of their daughters-in-law. Life in the village was a struggle and the man and his wife had to literally toil to send their sons to school and to ensure that they become settled in their lives. Their three adult sons - one a teacher, the other a bus driver and the third a small scale trader - leave home and lead separate lives after they marry. The fourth oldest son - the simpleton in the family - ends up in prison after he murders a local shark who tries to take advantage of a young girl related to the family. The fifth son leaves home to continue his studies in Chennai. Left all alone - the father and mother - do their best to continue their lives but over time - the mother takes ill. She and her husband decide to visit their eldest son and his family while on their way to hospital. But the daughter-in-law - although welcoming her in-laws - ends up fighting with her husband over the visit of the two elders and how long they would stay in their home. She demands that her husband's father and mother leave the next day because she was not prepared to look after them. The father overhears what his daughter-in-law has to say and early the next morning, they leave their son's home. "Treat your parents with loving care.... For you will know their value, when you see their empty chair.... ” The son is overcome with sorrow and anguish and tries to console his parents. The villager and his wife then turn up at their second son's home. But here too the daughter-in-law puts up a front when welcoming them. She ends up fighting with her husband and even prevents their baby son from being in the company of her mother-in-law. "I don't want my child to become afflicted with the asthma that your mother is suffering from," she tells her distraught husband. He is not as calm as his elder brother and ends up bashing his wife over her lack of respect for his parents. The villager and his wife once again decide to leave and they return to their home. The villager's wife throws away the medicine she was given for her asthma at the hospital. She ends up preparing a meal with poison that leads to their deaths. In the meantime - the youngest son and his girl-friend unaware of the sufferings of the old people make preparations to fly them to Chennai for medical care. He departs for the village and on the way joins his three married brothers. They end up saving the life of their fourth brother who, after being released from prison, is attacked by family members of the bully he had killed. All five brothers return home to inform their parents about the release of their brother and the good news about their fifth son who had made arrangements for their medical care in Chennai. But to their utter shock and dismay they find both their mother and father dead. At the funeral - the three daughters-in-law - put on a show by shedding crocodile tears. The moral of the story. I'll leave it to you. MOTHER AND LOVING SONS And then while on a visit to the La Lucia Mall in Durban on Sunday, June 29, I noticed something that really instilled a smile and got me thinking. Two young boys, must be aged about 15 or 16, were in the company of their Indian-origin parents. The boys were dressed in smart pants and shirts and wore ties. Their father was also dressed in a suit and tie and their mother looked like a school maam in a blouse and dress. They must have been to a special family function before visiting the mall. I was at this time standing at the front entrance near the underground parking. I was really amazed at the dignified manner in which the boys chatted with their parents while they walked into the mall. Then about five minutes later I saw the family walking out - all smiles but serious. The father walked in the front with his suit coat in his hands. One of the boys had his hands around his mother's shoulders and he was busy chatting with his mother. Then suddenly, the other boy went around and put his hand on his mother's shoulder as well. His brother did not like this at all and pushed his brother's hand away. The other boy gave his brother an angry look and must have said: "This is my mother as well." I just thought to myself what a wonderful show of respect and appreciation that the two boys demonstrated for their mother. At the same time I asked myself: "Would the boys have the same love, respect and admiration for their mother and father once they marry?" I leave this as well to you to answer!